Thursday, June 21, 2012

Here I Come Again

It has been far too long since my last blog. While I took the Rose Bowl defeat seriously enough to actually not use the word "badger" in any sentence for several weeks, the main reason for my disappearance was legitimate writing assignments, some which involved money rather than promises or the bartering of fruit and vegetables. In my line of work which I have never been quite able to explain to anyone, one goes where the potential of money can be had...much like hookers streaming into Tampa, Florida for this year's Republican Convention. Girls and because this is a Republican Convention, boys, remember to bring your own protection since these delegates fervently believe that ovum are worth their weight in gold until they are born and become burdens to society.

But recently the pickings have been slow to non-existent so once more I find myself making those plaintive phone calls to various outlier sperm clinics usually located just south of Patagonia. Yes, I know I am too old to donate and any attempt would call for immediate EMTs and paramedics to be close at hand (no pun intended). I also know from reading brochures that no sperm bank would ever take swimmers that already have signs of coronary occlusion.

One of the new features of this blog will be the publication of unformed ideas and concepts written for no apparent purpose other than I had nothing better to do on a Saturday night after my credit card had been denied once again. Other materials that will see the light of day here are serious proposals (at least I thought they should be taken seriously) that received the same response from executives that any male who's a 3 receives from any female who is a 9 or higher. There's no point in keeping these ideas hidden away on hard drives when everything else in life appears to be softening up.