If I Could Vote For Oscar this Year

OSCAR THE GROUCH

I see scores of new movies a year, and I have an opinion on every one of them. This means nothing more than a bunch of burned out brain cells, because I am not a voting member of the Academy. Over the decades, my win/loss ratio in office pools ranks right up there with the '62 Mets. If I say a movie will win or a star will walk away with the Oscar, bet the opposite. I lost so much money choosing Saving Private Ryan to win Best Picture in 1998, for instance, that I'm still paying off a guy named Vinnie Shakespeare. That should have been the clue. The lack of Oscar acclaim for Citizen Kane, The Searchers, The Wild Bunch, Singing in the Rain, any Sergio Leone film, Barbara Stanwyck, Montgomery Clift, and so many others is well known and a reminder that Academy members have no more knowledge of what will make a classic than any of us mortals. Check out this flotilla of presumed Oscar snubs.

If I could vote here are my choices for the Oscars. The movies with the parentheses, I suspect, look by all odds to be the winners. By Monday afternoon, I along with the rest of the Universe will have completely forgotten who won what but will already be looking forward to next year's competition.

Supporting actress:
Marisa Tomei, "The Wrestler" (Amy Adams, "Doubt")

Director:
David Fincher, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Millionaire")

Animated feature:
"WALL-E" (should have been nominated for Best Picture)

Adapted screenplay:
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," screenplay by Eric Roth, screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord ("Slumdog Millionaire," screenplay by Simon Beaufoy)

Original screenplay:
"WALL-E," screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon; original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter (what else?)

Foreign language film:
"Waltz with Bashir," Israel (anti-war films always win Best Foreign)